Easter Weekend

First off, just a few short hours before I left school to come home, I received an email. These were the result. So beautiful!

 Then, Friday morning I helped my mom out at the donut shop because she was not feeling well. We were selling these cute treats!

Saturday: I went to a horse jumping show. This was a first and probably a last. I had to do it for my horsemanship class and I was lucky to find this going in Tulsa, seeing how I procrastinated.

 Saturday evening: Cosmic Bowling! There were about 7 of us who went bowling and it was tons of fun! I've missed this girl!

                                                                    :)

 Sunday: The greatest day in history. I celebrated with my whole family. I could not ask for better. We also watched a hail storm!

                                                     And colored eggs!

                                                         So fun!!

I'm thankful this weekend that I go to a school that celebrates the death and resurrection of our Lord because it is a time that should be spent with family and those you love. I am also thankful that I won't be driving back to school for another 48 hours! And after that, only 2 1/2 weeks left! 

HE IS RISEN! and I am eternally grateful.  

Plastic

There are many times when I feel I am walking around this place as a complete fake. People say hi and I say hi back. People smile, so I smile. People ask me how I am and I say I am "good"-whatever that means anymore.

Daily.

This is not me. I am not a fake person. I am so tired of feeling like I can't be genuine at all. It would be different if it was just me keeping it in, but it' not. I have yet to feel like someone honestly wants to know the real answers to the questions they ask. I want to feel like someone cares about me. But they don't. Not here. So maybe that explains why I don't want to be here. I think it's a decent reason.

So I have chosen to do something about it. I shall move on to better places and things. To where I know I will be involved with great people and they will care about me and I will care about them. I believe I have a lot more opportunities elsewhere and I would like to take advantage of them. I also have not been this excited about something in awhile, which leads me to believe that this is a good thing. I will soon find out.

(I know later on in life I might look back at this and think it is stupid and depressing, but right now it is how I feel. And it is my blog, so who cares.)

Have a lovely day.

Church

I have always gone to a Nazarene church. It makes sense, being that my dad is an ordained Nazarene pastor. Our churches have always been fairly small and I am okay with that. Everyone knows each other or at least recognizes them. This is what I am used to. But a few weeks ago, I attended the church here on campus, BFC. It is huge! We started off with going to Sunday school and it was alright. The message was pretty good, even though I don't remember it now. Then we went to service. As soon as I walked into the sanctuary I was just in awe. It is literally so big. (I sound so sheltered like I have never seen a big church before, I have.) It was just so weird to me because most Nazarene churches are not that big. But it wasn't necessarily the size that got to me, but the way it affected things. There were quite a few people there, but they were scattered everywhere. It was like one family, a couple rows, then another family. Everyone was so spread out and, to me, that is just now how I see a community. A church should be filled with people who want to help each other grow. How are you supposed to meet people if you aren't even sitting by someone? That just really drove me crazy. Another thing was I was watching the preacher on a screen. Partly because I couldn't see past the big man in front of me, but still. To say the least, I was not comfortable. Everything seemed so routine and planned out.

I think this is one thing that has been really hard for me.  I go home every weekend and a big reason is because I want to be in my home church. This experience really brought this into perspective for me. I like what I have and it may be because I am just not good with things being different, but I love my small, simple church. We don't need a huge band of 10+ members to impress people, or screens to watch the pastor. Just last week, the worship songs got messed up a few times and the leader just kinda laughed and said, "alright, let's try again!" I feel like that would never happen at the other church. I am all about real, genuine people SHARING life together, sitting close together in the pews. To say the least, I am so thankful to be a part of Silver Creek Church of the Nazarene.