Plastic

There are many times when I feel I am walking around this place as a complete fake. People say hi and I say hi back. People smile, so I smile. People ask me how I am and I say I am "good"-whatever that means anymore.

Daily.

This is not me. I am not a fake person. I am so tired of feeling like I can't be genuine at all. It would be different if it was just me keeping it in, but it' not. I have yet to feel like someone honestly wants to know the real answers to the questions they ask. I want to feel like someone cares about me. But they don't. Not here. So maybe that explains why I don't want to be here. I think it's a decent reason.

So I have chosen to do something about it. I shall move on to better places and things. To where I know I will be involved with great people and they will care about me and I will care about them. I believe I have a lot more opportunities elsewhere and I would like to take advantage of them. I also have not been this excited about something in awhile, which leads me to believe that this is a good thing. I will soon find out.

(I know later on in life I might look back at this and think it is stupid and depressing, but right now it is how I feel. And it is my blog, so who cares.)

Have a lovely day.